She scribbled on the Starbucks napkin again and again.
I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot.
"Why did I ever involve Vivian," she said, then answered herself, "Because I'm an ass. I'm such an ass." I was so nervous. I can't do anything right."
She wanted to cry right there in the crowded Starbucks.
She must have gone over it a thousand times.
I took all new bills.
I thought they were new.
I was afraid to spend them, and I did't know how to get rid of them.
I hid them in Daddy's garage and I was so afriad the whole time the FBI would follow me, and search there, and get Daddy in trouble.
I couldn't even sleep.
So I went to Vivian and she took me back to Blue...
Her coffee sat and got cold.
She filled the entire napkin on both sides with her scribble
and looked out the window at the ocean.
Vivian's explanation about Blue not having that amount of money but knowing someone who did, some slumlord named Meanos, and a detective named Mathers,
and some homeless guy under the Boardwalk,
and the money just walking off cause the cops showed up,
it didn't make sense.
Something was wrong.
Something wasn't adding up somewhere.
Her own sister with that big new house,
and a housekeeper, and the fancy clothes and cars,
that all cost money.
I'm such an ass.
I had the money, and nobody knew.
And now nobody knows where it is?
That doesn't make sense to me.
Why didn't I look?
Why didn't I take my time?
I couldn't believe it when the auditors told me it wasn't new.
I would never have gone to Vivian.
I should've looked more carefully.
I can't believe I didn't look.
I swear they were in Federal Reserve wrappers.
Maybe it's a trap.
Maybe they're trying to fool me.
I can't believe those bills were recirculated.
"What are you thinking about, Mommy?"
"Oh, my baby..." Janice came to herself.
"You, my Adriasita... I'm thinking about you, and Mommy won't give up."
And she started to cry.