Fifty-Boy
9
Alienation Of Affection
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| The Mysterious Other Woman |
All this time I thought we were a duo, a team, a unity of two. Never one of us could be seduced to abandon our unity. Did the person exist who could cause one of us to ente another duo, to keep a secret from the other, to sever, betray, forget: Us, We, Team, Duo-Uinty... Leave, openly, or secretly, the partner, out of it, alone?
"You ought to get a publisher for that diary, Herr Professor, you're right up there with Anne Frank. What a waste of genius... That was you in the chat-room, wasn't it?
She was tough and smarter than me. You know she didn't just lie down and admit anything. Whoever gives up without a fight?
"You had no right to do that." She looked nervous, but she had a plan. At first she denied everything.
I had to drag every concession out of her point by point.
"You and him had a thing going, didn't you?"
"Me and who? Which one of your sex fantasies are you talking about now?"
"You know who. Are you denying you were in the chat-room this afternoon?"
"Wasn't me."
"Then why'd you say, 'That was you in the chat-room, wasn't it?"
She wouldn't answer.
"Oh... Okay... Then what am I gonna' do about his wife calling here?"
That got a response. She said, "She didn't call."
I wouldn't answer.
"Tell me." She insisted. "She called here?" On what number?"
"Not the first time, is it?" I sensed it wasn't and took a chance.
"You tell me what she said."
"You tell me." I waited.
"She never called before." She was being cagey, but I knew I had her thinking.
"Hey," I said, "If you're not talking, I'm not."
"She emailed." She said reluctantly.
"...And...?"
"She said please don't email my husband anymore."
"You emailed him, from here?"
"You don't know, Mister Spy?"
"I don't think you did, Molly." I blufffed. "I always check the history. You never emailed this guy from home.." I didn't know exactly what check the history meant, but it sounded good.
She just stood there, challenging me. She was being adamant.
"Nobody called here." She finally said.
"Okay." I turned away. "I'll deal with the wife myself... Or you talk to her lawyers in divorce court... Ever hear of alienation of affection?"
That got a reaction. "Okay, then fuck you. I emailed him from work. So what?"
"From work? So he knows your real name?"
"So?"
"So his wife knows your real name. And what you sent. And, where you work. And with reverse look-up... That's how she got our home number. What' you send this guy anyway?" It was all a bluff. Nobody had called. I was just taking a chance and it was paying off.
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| Not The Sexy Ones? |
Pictures." She said.
"Pictures? Which one? Not the sexy ones?"
"He sent me pictures."
"Sexy ones? He sent you sexy ones?"
"No, of him and his son, and their dog."
"Their dog?"
"Yes." Her chin was quivering."
"You don't even like dogs."
"I like you."
I lied and said, "I saw what he sent... Fat blubber boy."
"How?" She half believed me.
"He's a big guy... The windowpane pajamas from the Gap were for me? I didn't know you liked 'em that big..."
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"You denied everything... You made me pull teeth to find out."
"What about his wife? Did she really call here?"
I had to maintain the lie, it was the only thing I had to make her cooperate.
"Yes, she called, and she was pissed. You're lucky it was me who answered. I acted completely in the dark. I told her I was furious and that I'd take care if it. You're lucky I can maintain my composure. I assured her she'd never have to worry about you contacting her husband again."
"But what did she say?"
"Say? I acted pissed, and surprised, and she was threatening hell... for your ass. Called you a homewrecker, said you were destroying her family and her kids' future... That he was jerking off in the computer-room at night... And besides, it's me who's asking the questions... If you want me to help you out of this, you gotta' tell me everything."
The queen and foundress of the NIBDA was in a panic.
I said, "And you were gonna' meet this bozo? In Baltimore, of all places?"
She didn't answer me at first. Then I said, "She knew all about your lovers rendezvous."
"She did?"
"Yep, and she was gonna' ambush you two, in Baltimore, with the private detective she had following his dumb behind, and her attorney. And, she said she was gonna' kick your ass in the bargain. She's a big girl, Moll..."
She suddenly became defiant again. "I didn't do anything, and neither did he. We just talked, that's all. You can't get taken to court for talking. I'm not stupid."
"Alienation of affection?" I knew it didn't mean shit legally...
"Well."
"Look, Moll," I said. "You think I'm the only asshole who keeps a journal? You think your big dog didn't spill his guts out on paper, about his wife's neglect, and his fantasies about you?"
Molly looked green around the gills.
"You ever hear of a chat-room archive? Every single word, cemented on the hard drive. Her detective has all that shit. You and him and his tongue are in a jam."
"I feel sick."
"If you want my help to get this woman off your back, I mean, you want your mother... And everybody where you work... And my family and all, to see you draggged into divorce court... My mother?" I smiled at her and said, "Huh, ya' little homewrecker?"
"Stop it."
"Hussy."
She finally grinned. She could be devilish when she wanted to.
"You like being the mysterious other woman, don't you?"
"That's his problem." She said.
"Molly, it's time to get down to business. Tell me about the code words. What's yours, what his? You want spymaster's help, right?"
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